1 down, 3 more to go.

was finally able to get some sleep last night after a week of insomnia. things seem slightly more manageable. just let me pass.

sigh.

and even when your hope is gone, move along, move along to make it through.

had insomnia for the second time since med school started. i need to stop letting anxiety get the better of me.

still can't believe A is gone. i can't wrap my mind around it. i can't accept the fact that he's dead. i keep thinking about his struggles with death and his final moments and my heart wrenches and i choke up every time i think about him. i find myself playing "Where'd You Go" on repeat whenever i'm taking a break from studying or walking to school. it was his favorite song. it would always be on the radio whenever we were driving to the Kenwood mall. i feel guilty for not spending as much time grieving. but i don't have a choice. life is demoralizing.

block exams are coming up in 5 days. i need to get out of this panic mode. i need to stop feeling sorry for myself. i need to stop being so weak. being sick does not give me an excuse to stop studying. i need to suck it up and trudge along. i've been in darker situations before. i can do this shit. medicine means everything to me. I can't let A down. his death is all the more reason for me to become a doctor.

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone sins
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
[x3]

(Move along)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along